| happiness is never exciting |
[Jul. 10th, 2010|05:58 pm] |
about disappointment and denial
and the unwillingness to let go.
its disappointing how upset i can get,
and the extent i can go to disillusion
myself. its not a matter of inability,
its the heart that's not decisive enough.
i don't know which irritates me more,
myself or you. |
|
|
| routined superstition |
[Jul. 8th, 2010|09:09 pm] |
every morning, i sit up and snooze the alarm for 10 mins.
during this 10 mins, i convince my body to wake up and move,
i overcome my inertia and stagger my way to the toilet,
after putting on my uniform in a robotic stance,
i proceed to open the door and bring the newspaper in.
without fail, i flip and browse through the pages of my paper,
and conclude the morning with my horoscope.
its silly, but i think i let my horoscope determine the course of the day.
its silly, but when its good, it get my hopes up high.
i am hoping for a good horoscope tomorrow.
....
....
sometimes i have this compulsive urge to
squash my face and go arrrrhhhhhh and
freak somebody out. just sometimes. |
|
|
| spunk |
[Jul. 7th, 2010|07:58 pm] |
spunk.
the word is spunk.
its about that gust of attitude
when you're close to desperation.
the word is spunk,
its being full of it,
when anger's about to take you over.
the word is spunk,
its being above the transient nature of life
when melancholy kicks in.
the word is spunk,
when you're in your revery.
|
|
|
| :X |
[Jul. 6th, 2010|03:01 am] |
| [ | doko: |
| | home | ] |
| [ | feel: |
| | crushed | ] |
| [ | ongaku: |
| | zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz | ] |
dear g,
why!
:(
fml.
...
cm |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jul. 5th, 2010|01:50 am] |
i remember not
knowing what to say
and how calm
you had remained. |
|
|
| Hate |
[Jul. 4th, 2010|01:18 am] |
i hate my blindness sometimes
misreading dates like that, irritates me.
i hate my melancholy too.
makes me sad.
i hate, i hate, i hate......
hating all these only makes everything futile.
i hate the word futile.
i hate so much that it becomes a part of me.
i hate bananas
i hate broccos
i hate taps on shoulder
i hate a particular person
i hate particular situations
maybe the world functions based on the power
of hate, because we love when we hate.
theres love because hate exists.
hate brings out the perfection
in the things we love.
because i hate all of the things i hate
that i love what i love.
i really hate it when you do that.
i hate it so much. i hate it. i hate it. |
|
|
| clandestine |
[Jun. 29th, 2010|09:53 pm] |
我打翻一片海洋 變成星星的淚光
我剪下了一抹斜陽 貼在你泛黃的薄暮上
我吹起一陣白雪 在你的眉毛中間盪鞦韆
我偷走黑夜的漫長 塗在你濃密的頭髮上
讓我看你快樂的模樣 填滿了陽光
你張開你的臂膀 沒有到達不了的地方
我要好好想一想 給你什麼顏色的天堂
種一朵花在你手上
當你微笑時隨風飄揚
當你皺眉時隨風流浪
你揚起整片海洋 用春天化妝我臉龐
我要和時間玩那捉迷藏
永遠 永遠永遠記得這光亮.
|
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jun. 27th, 2010|12:12 am] |
just in case the situation continues,
i have no facebook account
so if "I" add you, please note that
ITS NOT ME. ITS NOT ME AT ALL. |
|
|
| tough luck |
[Jun. 24th, 2010|11:16 pm] |
|
its tiring, acting like it doesnt matter. |
|
|
| tireless |
[Jun. 23rd, 2010|03:46 pm] |
the clouds are heavy and black
with their burden of rain.
i sit with anticipation for the
precipitation but it is not falling.
not a single drop has fallen. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jun. 18th, 2010|12:57 pm] |
one loses while one wins.
there was something about
never crying or revealing your
weaknesses in public because
someone out there takes glee
in your misery and pain, magpies
or something like that, or a turtle. |
|
|
| parallel lines |
[Jun. 17th, 2010|03:32 pm] |
on a very very subtle note,
ever since then, each time
when i try to take a peak
into your life, when i try to
see how life has been to you,
i realize how little i knew, how
much i presumed to know, how
i assigned and carved a seat
for myself in your life only to
discover that my blueprints were
all wishes superimposed on you.
im happy life is good, for us two.
parallel lines, you and i both. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jun. 17th, 2010|03:12 pm] |
the past few nights were lovely.
spent curling on the sofa
reading good omens.
it was... ineffable.
"you cant second guess ineffability, i always say."
- Aziraphale
|
|
|
| blame it on my youth |
[Jun. 12th, 2010|10:17 pm] |
just as life was at its greyest
and hope seems implausible
i feel the weak pulse that is
pulsating in every alive bean
out there, that life is possibility.
that life is what i am.
not exactly the kind of revelation
you get out of watching a movie
about a gay-right activist, but
milk was captivating. increasingly
i feel the irk against those who
use the name of god to fight against
anything, especially homosexuality.
tensions aside, i was walking home
from a queer jog when i noticed how
bare the trees have become, the lack
of leaves accentuated the dark color
of the twigs, of the bark.
when you view the crowns of trees
by tilting your head sidewards so
the leaves and twigs look like prints
on the clear blue sky, its indescribable.
so the dark color of the bare twigs printed
against the calm deep blue of the sky
gave me the feeling like i was looking
right into two deep dark eyes, i felt like
i was looking beyond the gaze, the eyes
i felt like i was looking into the soul.
alternatively and very cruelly,
i could have just been romanticizing
everything and that
my period is probably coming.
whatever works.
|
|
|
| tiger |
[Jun. 11th, 2010|01:11 pm] |
a tiger moves handsomely,
its tail moving in time with the
waves of the wind; when the need
arises it purrs wistfully, waiting
patiently between the trees.
waiting with assured confidence
of its success, its absolute faith
in its natural instinct and capability.
in solitude, a tiger reigns. free.
|
|
|
| much ado about nothing. |
[Jun. 6th, 2010|09:29 pm] |
| [ | ongaku: |
| | 你的世界 就讓你擁有, 不打擾 是我的溫柔. | ] |
only at certain points and at certain angles, when circumstance declares it right,the disparity between you and i shines a little too brightly; i cant take the shine; i cant take the way it hurts my eyes, hurts my heart. i look at you, i look at all of you. can you see the fear in me?the fear that ill lose my independence; the fear that one day this disparity will remove the effect of the rose-tinted glasses we both wear. and you shall see my ugliness. and i shall lose my importance in your life, that one day you will see how good life remains without me. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jun. 1st, 2010|10:15 pm] |
CANT WAIT TO GET OUT OF HERE!
|
|
|
| letting go. |
[May. 29th, 2010|12:02 pm] |
theres always a tendency to step
back and step out from situations
and look at them from a dehumanized
vantage point; to facilitate a logical and
unbiased perspective to solve matters.
but logic fails where emotions reign.
as i step back and retreat,
i retreat more
hoping to find the logical remedy to
everything and anything
despite knowing
the simple truth that
logic fails where emotions reign.
paulo coelho's the alchemist
encourages us to listen to our hearts,
how does one listen to a heart
so treacherous and bitter.
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
damantou's journal